(Sosias and Xanthias lean on opposite proscenium arches and fall asleep, coordinate; Bd fall asleep vC)

Chorus sound out just as they end their last lines:

Chor 1 leader =

Chor 2 leader =

Chor 1: (entering off L) (To Volga Boat Song) O-o-o-oh
(owh), We're so slo-ow (owh), O-o-o-o-oh gotta go (Uh)

Chor 2: (entering off R; with Chor 1 chime in for another verse,
Try to slow it down to 2, but if everybody can't get in add a
third verse)

Chor 2 lead: (military stuff that's gibberish; Choruses go “what'd he say?”)

I don't know but it's been said - Choruses repeat (looking very lost and ragged)
Jury duty buy yo' bread
Go to court most any day
Some dumb bastard gonna pay.
Got to get to court on time
Runnin outta things to rhyme
Sound off (One -two)
Do it Greek (treis, tettares)
eis, duo, treis, tettares, one, two, three, four!!

Chor 1 lead: Long ago we did our duty

Chor 1 & 2 ALL: Kickin' fairy Persian boody! (some do swishy hands or other moves to make fun of Persians; fluff hair, etc.)

Chor 2 lead: Now that Kleon's in the lead

Chor 1& 2 ALL: We make the upper classes bleed!

Chor 1 & 2 lead: Suin' all the rich and greedy,

Chor 1 & 2 ALL: Our verdicts aren't fair, just speedy.<BR>

Chor 1 lead: Philokleon's still in bed? He's never been a sleepy head.

Chor 2 lead: Yea, he's always first in line, loves to give a heavy fine.

Chor 1 lead: Maybe we should wake him with a good old-fashioned tune,

Chor 2 lead: We'll sing ‘em all and have a ball, we'll start right in and croon.

(To tune of “Love me tender”)
Chor 1 or 2 leader (with small chorus)
Philokleon, come on out, you're gonna make us late!
We hate to get you out of bed, but jury just can't wait.

Chor lead solo: (down on knees - rest of chorus back him up)
Philokleon, move your ass, don't leave us in the cold.

(Chorus together again): We need your vote to get em good, with you our verdict's bold.

Chor lead who didn't sing solo: Not good enough, we gotta get rough!

(anyone percussion? cymbals pot lids)
(To Tar Heel Fight song - whole chorus, loud but clearly understandable)
Philokleon, get up now, if we aren't in court, Kleon's gonna have *a cow.
So getup, Philokleon, -kleon, wake up Philokleon, -kleon, Come on Philokleon
Go to hell, Sparta. (Do some cheerleader stuff!!!)

Chor member 1 (all dejected): We're gonna lose our pay

Chor member 2: They'll take it all away.

Chor member 3: We better go

Chor member 4: Can't wait no more

All 4: He'll have to miss today.

Philokleon ( leaning around door frame but behind net):
(To R-E-S-P-E-C-T (chorus fill in the beats)
What I want!, (Oop!!) I know you got it! (Oop!!) What I need! You sure do got it!
Got to go! I got to have it! Need to sue, Got a jury habit.

Chorus: Jury habit!  (4 times)
Phil: J-U-R-Y D-U-T, No time for -Y-, gotta let it be now!

Chorus: Jury habit! (Phil improvise and fade away, act like you're
trying to take center stage, but can't get around the prop door
or net)

Phil: (down on knees, chant style) (Chorus members have wandered in through openings showing that he could get out of the set, but you should act like it's impossible)
Zeus help me get past my daughter so I can get to court for the slaughter.
Let me slip past this stupid net and make it to opening arguments.
I wanna be with my friends right away, we got so many people to screw today.

Chor 1 lead: (including some behind him): Who locked you in and threw away the key?
Phil: Bdelykleone, my daughter, she's got it in for me.
Chor 2 lead: Why would she keep you locked away?
Phil: She don't want me trying to try today.  She says I can't go down there anymore, cause I've turned into a jury whore.

Chor 1& 2 ALL: (mock tragedy): Oh, woe! Trial no more! Gotta help him escape the ho!

Chor 1 lead: Did you try the keyholes
Phil: Yup
Chor 2 lead: All cracks and crevices.
Phil: Every one.
Chorus member: Did you try the door?
Leaders: Don't be stupid, of course he tried the ....door (chorus member walking through)

(leaders slap their heads with the “duh” gesture; chorus member lead Phil out quietly all pointing to guards and BD, couple of chorus people trip on them and apologize - slaves go no pardon me and back to sleep)

Phil (brought quietly down center): Wait, one last prayer (hands raised)

Juridia, goddess of jurors all,
Let me get out in the street
If I get there in time for the roll call
I won't... (think) can't get a rhyme here
Got it!
Your altar’s no longer my toilet seat.

Chor lead 1: Very nice.
Chor lead 2: Oh yeah, That'll get her cooperation