Amph: I wanted to find Naucrates-- he wasn't on the ship; I didn't find anybody at home or in the city who'd
seen him. (1010) And I tramped through every street, gymnasium, store, perfume shop, market, school--even
the forum; and I'm exhausted from looking at the doctor's, the barber's, all the holy sites. And I never found
Naucrates. Now I'll go home and ask my wife who the guy is she's been whoring with. I'll kill myself unless
I learn it today...(tries to open his front door) But the house is locked up. Great! That's just like all the other
stuff that's happened. I'll knock on the door. Open up! Hey, is anybody in? Can someone open the door? (1020)

(Mercury as Sosia appears on the roof)
Mer: Who's there?
Amph: I am.
Mer: What do you mean "I am"?
Amph: Just like I said it -- I AM.
Mer: Jupiter and all the gods will get you, breaking doors--
Amph: What?
Mer: I mean you're out of luck.
Amph: Sosia!
Mer: That's me, unless you think that I've forgotten? What do you want now?
Amph: Scum, you ask ME what I want?
Mer: Yea, I'm asking. You've just about ripped the hinges off the door, idiot, do you think doors are free? Why
are you looking at me, fool? What do you want now? Who are you?
Amph: You ask my name, you wearer-out of whips? By god, I'll fan your flame with flogging for saying that. (1030)
Mer: You must have wasted all your money in your youth.
Amph: Why's that?
Mer: Cause in your old age you're begging me for trouble.
Amph: You've sunk yourself today, house slave, spilling out those words.
Mer: I'll offer you something now.
Amph: What?
Mer: Heaps of anguish!

[Fragments:
Amph: I'll have you tortured, good-for-nothing, on the rack...
Mer: My master Amphitryon is busy...
Mer: But you've still got a chance to get away...
Mer: I ought to break an ash pot on your head...
Mer: Would you like a pail of water poured on your head, then?...
Mer: You're spooky weird. Poor damn slob! You need a doctor!...
Alcmena: You swore and said it was a joke...
Alcmena: I beg you go find some medical help for your condition: you're either cursed or nuts...
Alcmena: If what's happened isn't as I said, I won't stop you from declaring me a whore...
Amph: Whose? When I'm gone, she's free to sell herself...
Amph: What were you threatening to do if I broke down these doors?...
Amph: Then you'll dig more than 60 ditches a day...
Amph: Don't beg for that loser...
Blepharo: Calm down!...
Jupiter: I've got him caught by the neck and in the act...
Amph: Thebans, now I've got this treasure trove of lust who improperly prodded my wife at home...
Amph: Aren't you ashamed, scoundrel, to go out in public?...in secret..
Jupiter or Amph: You can't tell which Amphitryon is which.

Blepharo: You divide yourselves up yourselves. I'm going; I've got things to do.
I don't think I've ever seen such surprising things before.
Amph: Blepharo, I beg you help me, don't go.
Blepharo: Bye! I can't be a help when I don't know which I'm helping.
Jup: (aside) I'm going inside. Alcmena's about to give birth.
Amph: I'm dead. What do I do? All my aides and friends have left me. (1040) That guy is damn sure not going to make
a fool of me without some playback, whoever he is; now I'll go right to the king and tell him everything that's happened.
I'll get back at that Thessalian poisoner today, who contortedly twisted my family's state of mind. But where is that guy?
Damn, he went inside, to my wife I think. Who in Thebes is unhappier than me? What do I do now, when it's ok for
everyone to overlook me and make a fool of me? That's it, I'm breaking in the house; anyone I spot, maid or slave, wife
or lover, father or grandfather, I'll kill him right in the house. Not even Jupiter or all the gods will stop me--even if they
want--from doing what I decided. I'm going in this minute.